Example: Stress in the fast-food workplace can lead to serious physical, psychological, and emotional problems for employees.
Topic: stress
Claim: can lead to serious problems
Major points: physical, psychological and emotional problems.
In your thesis you should provide an interpretation of a subject, not the subject itself.
Here are examples of good and bad thesis statements:
Example 1:A: The death penalty should not be abolished because people who commit violent crimes should be punished.
B: Although many argue that human life is sacred, the death penalty should remain for people that commit brutal crimes and offer no positive value to their society.
Which one is the good option? That’s right, thesis B is better because the author gave a more descriptive and narrowed version for their beliefs. This makes it easier for them to prove their point overall.
Example 2:A: Owning a college degree should not be a requirement for professional positions in the workforce.
B: If a candidate has work experience, reasonable competency in the field, and shows a strong work ethic, they should not be disqualified from competing for a position due to the lack of having a college degree.
Option B provides three distinct subpoints it will use to prove its main statement, while the first sentence just makes a general claim.
Example 3:A: Gun laws should be more strict and demand more requirements because of the increased amount of nationwide shootings.
B: A strict gun regulations policy will not reduce nationwide violence since guns are still obtainable illegally, and humans, not weapons, are the catalysts of brutality.
Option B goes more in-depth about why it’s claim is correct and presents reasoning that can be justified from many external sources.